I'm sorry, what? Was my identity stolen? Better question - why is Mauricio from the Pirates of Penzance featured on the identity theft advertisement? Is he going to swoop in with his wooden sword and swashbuckle away my identity? Am I going to just give my identity to this guy because he's so charming with his curly hair? Why do I think this guy is definitely wearing tights? Somebody explain this advertisement to me.

Work e-mails I've answered today: four. Work phone calls I received today: three. Total time: about forty-five minutes to an hour. Dollars I'll receive for this: 0.

These little things add up. I'm not paid to field questions about some student's dyslexia. It's not even my student and I'm not qualified to opine on something like that.

One more year of this nonsense. I'll keep telling myself that.

So Hilary Clinton thinks she's like Rocky, eh?

Recalling a famous scene on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art from the 1976 Oscar-winning film "Rocky," Clinton said that ending her presidential campaign now would be as if "Rocky Balboa had gotten halfway up those art museum steps and said, 'Well, I guess that's about far enough.'"

"Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up. And neither do the American people," Clinton said in excerpts of prepared remarks to be given Tuesday to a meeting of the Pennsylvania AFL-CIO.

Sure. Clinton does remember that Rocky loses at the end of the film, right? To take this a bit further, who's Apollo Creed? I hope that's Obama. Clinton strategist Mark Penn has to be Paulie. You know, the guy who's always fucking up Rocky's career before taking a wayward punch himself during a semi-comedic moment. I guess Bill Clinton is Adrian? Whatever. I guess that works. That just leaves McCain. It doesn't really fit in with the story arc, but the similarities between Senator Straight Talk and Mickey, aka Burgess Meredith, are too obvious to ignore.

So, when I was younger, I really liked Billy Joel. I'm talking like ages 3-12. I still think he a has a lot of good songs, and even though it's a cliche, a lot of his "early stuff" is really quite good. When I hit adolescence, however, I began to realize that a lot of his stuff is basically bar-music for baby boomers. I mean, it's all still really catchy, but it doesn't necessarily hold up well.

In any event, Oprah comes on after Jeopardy in St. Louis, so I just caught Billy Joel performing "Only The Good Die Young." I have to say, it was pretty terrible. I mean, it sounded like somebody at a Bar Mitzvah doing a cover of Billy Joel. If that were the case, you would say, "oh yeah, that kinda sounds like Billy Joel" except that this was the Real McCoy playing his own stuff. He can't hit any of the high notes, and is sort of half-assing the piano chords. I guess it's to be expected - the dude is 58 years old and was pretty much an alcoholic for the better part of 25 years. Life takes its toll. Even so, it's kind of sad.

Side note: Billy Joel is from Long Island and grew up there at the same time as my father, who was a friend of a friend of his. When I was younger and not really hip to these things, Billy Joel never really struck me as quintessentially "Long Island" (you have to know the type to know what I mean). Now, though, sitting on Oprah? Definitely Long Island. Finally, I was like 22 before I knew Billy Joel was Jewish and not Italian. Yeah, yeah, I know his last name is fucking "Joel." But I think he deliberately cultivated this faux-Italian persona because he thought it would market better. Maybe he was right. What do I know?

Barack Hussein Obama doesn't understand that we in the West are locked in Manichean Us vs Them struggle against IslamoNaziFascistCommieLudditeVeganScenester Forces of Evil! In fact, just today another Middle Easterner threatened to unleash a "holocaust" against an entire nation. We must not waver in our dedication to smoke out these evil doers and enemies of civiliation who....who....

Wait. Oh, that "holocaust" threat comes from the Israeli foreign minister?

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - A senior Israeli defense official said on Friday that Palestinians firing rockets from the Hamas-controlled Gaza Strip would bring upon themselves what he termed a "shoah", the Hebrew word for holocaust or disaster.

The word is rarely used in Israel outside discussions of the Nazi Holocaust of Jews. Many Israelis are loath to countenance its use to describe other contemporary events. Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri said the Palestinians faced "new Nazis".

I'm just going to quote Dahlia Lithwick here and recommend that everyone go read it. I'm not a big fan of Slate, but she does yeoman work.

This is not simply the theory of a unitary executive at work; this isn't the notion that the president makes the law, and acts of Congress are legal elevator music. This vision of executive power is that the law not only emanates from the president but also ebbs and flows with his hunches, hopes, and speculations, on a moment-to-moment basis. What we are hearing now from senior Bush administration officials is that if the president thinks someone looks kinda like a terrorist and the information sought from him seems kinda worth getting, it will be legal to torture him. And it's legal no matter who justified it, regardless of the supporting legal doctrine, because, well, the president just had a feeling that the information would prove valuable.

That's not an imperial presidency. That's the kind of presidency Yahweh might establish. I'm sure there's some law professor out there who can make the legal argument that executive power in wartime encompasses even the reckless guesses and impressionistic whims of a single man, as they arise. At which point, that too will become an "open question" on which "reasonable people will differ." And the dance will begin again.

http://www.slate.com/id/2182348/

Reviewing my course reading for tomorrow, I just overheard the following from one of my douchebag classmates:

"Yeah, well I think we should build a wall across the [Mexican] border and patrol it with A-10s and shoot anyone who tries to come across."

Right on, pal. Strafe all those beaneaters. Especially the women. Maybe we could just lace the entire border with land mines. Or, maybe dig a giant pit with spikes in the bottom. I think I saw that in Mortal Kombat once.

I hope that guy falls in the parking lot and breaks his neck. I really do.

Apparently, the 8% comes from the fact that I know what a duvet is. And I thought I knew what a duvet is because I speak English. But no, it's apparently my 8% gayness. I wonder which part of me it is. I'm going to guess it's my tiny calf muscles. Those always looked totally gay to me anyway.

I'm very tired at the moment. I used to think people who complained about their law school finals were whiners. Well, now I know it's fucking exhausting. For reals. I am very surprised I am not very sick right now.

I also managed to get in a throw-down argument with my employer this week. It's fine now, but the timing was bad and the issue was silly. Nonetheless, it was mighty stressful. Lesson: digging in and standing your ground is worth it sometimes. Your boss has a lot of control over you, but it's not absolute.

I have a mighty finals beard. It is prickly, like what I imagine a hedgehog feels like.

Also, I would like to give thanks for the new Bruce Springsteen album. It is this man's opinion that it is the best piece of music to come out this year.

JERUSALEM -- In unusually frank comments, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said in an interview published Thursday that "the state of Israel is finished" unless a Palestinian nation is created, saying the alternative is a South African-style apartheid struggle.

Detroit Free Press article here: http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071130/NEWS07/711300361/1009

I think a lot of people owe Jimmy Carter an apology. In the event that an apology is not forthcoming, those same people are invited to shut the fuck up.

By the way, the word "apartheid" is in Afrikaans words that means, simply, "seperateness."